When the universe tests you with people who hurt you, we’re not going to deny it; we’re human and we tend to crave some petty revenge. While grand revenge like in the movies should generally be avoided, petty revenge is a lot more common. Whether it’s revenge on an old classmate who bullied you or revenge on someone who has secretly been stealing your sandwiches, this compilation of petty vengeance stories makes for a hilarious page-turner.
#1 Revenge is sweet, but spicy too
This happened a while back, study hall in 8th grade actually. I always brought two small sandwiches to school so I could have one at lunch and one in study hall since our teacher let us eat in that class. One day as I was about to eat my Sandwich, I get up to use the bathroom. As I walk back in the classroom, I see the kid in front of me eating my sandwich. I was pretty annoyed but nothing serious at this point, so I confront him politely and he denies it completely. I left my sandwich on my desk the next day just to make sure it was him, and what do you know, it is.
So on the third day, I hatched a plan. I put habanero cheese on my sandwich, and then doused it all in ghost pepper sauce. That shit was everywhere, but it luckily didn’t smell spicy. I get to study hall and my plan works flawlessly. I leave my trap sandwich on my desk and get up to use the restroom. This time I take as long as I can, and end up wandering the halls of the school. I did this because my study hall teacher was strict about the hall pass, and only one guy was allowed to leave the class at a time, even for water. After about ten minutes I come back into the class to be greeted by the sandwich thief crying hysterically with a bright red face waiting for the hall pass. He was in the bathroom for the rest of the day. – iwmcguy
#2 Sorry, we don’t know you
We live in an apartment block, and occasionally have new people move in and out. Yesterday we encountered a new resident, a short red-haired lady who, through dwarfism and food, manages to be about as wide as she is tall.
My boyfriend greeted her with a simple “Hello.” He also tried to say “welcome” but she cut him off with, “Shut up, I don’t know you.” Okay, not the sociable type, neither are we, best not get friendly then!
Today when returning from grocery shopping we found her trying to pick the lock with what looks like a piece of a paperclip because you know, that’s going to work. She’s apparently been at it a while because before we could open the door with our key, a patrol car stopped and an officer called out to her. The officer asked her why she was breaking in, to which she responded she lived here. She turned to us and said, “They know me.”
My boyfriend smiled and said, “I don’t know you.”
We entered the building after the officer asked us to confirm, and my boyfriend repeated: “We don’t know her.”
Can’t wait to have more contact with her… – Shileka
#3 The vengeance of Craigslist
A guy at work pissed me off. I placed this Craigslist ad with his phone number. Two free goats. Hablas espanol.
He spent the rest of the day getting calls every 15 minutes or so. – JoeySalamander
#4 Ooh, that backfired
My mom had a fantastic one. She was a language teacher at my high school and years after I had graduated, she called me kind of upset because a group of guys was trying to make her look dumb. The class was supposed to write one of those team dialogues in Spanish, and had a week or so to prepare it, then had to perform it in front of the class. When she called for them to do theirs, they said, “But we already did ours, we’re not doing it again.” She said, “You definitely didn’t do it, I don’t have any record of it here and I would remember it if you had.”
They refused to do it, insisting they already performed it and that it was her fault she didn’t take notes/scores down. She was feeling puzzled and questioning herself, when one of the good kids came and said, “They didn’t do it – they were bragging about making you look stupid and threatened the whole class if they told you anything. But please don’t tell them I told you this, I don’t want any problems with them.” (These were those stereotypical dumb jock types who everyone was scared of for whatever reason).
My mom was really into yoga at the time and got a great idea while meditating. She went in the next day and said, “Boys, I owe you an apology. I found my notes on your presentation and I do remember it, I don’t know how I forgot!” She went on to describe all the grammatical mistakes they made, that their dialogue hadn’t been as long as required, that they didn’t include the necessary vocabulary, etc. All made up. She failed them all on the project and they couldn’t do a thing about it without admitting they’d made it all up.
TL;DR – My mom is awesome.- JoeySalamander
#5 Don’t touch my laundry
I used to be kind of an idiot. I’ve really mellowed out since. But sometime around 2001-2002, I had an incident in my university dorm laundry room. Anyway, I’m a freshman living in the dorms, it’s the weekend, and I’m doing laundry. We had an unwritten rule in the dorm laundry room: if you don’t attend to your laundry, it’s totally cool for someone to pull it out and throw it on the table (wet or dry). If you don’t like it, just promptly attend to your laundry when the washer or dryer turns off. I don’t like people touching my laundry, so I always set an alarm to be there when it’s done (on my digital watch, not my phone!). I wash my clothes, throw them in the dryer, and set my timer.
Soon after, my watch goes off and I walk back to the laundry room only to find my dryer load completely wet and on the table. Oh heck no! Someone pulled my stuff from the dryer, only to dump it out and dry their stuff for free. Well, good news: I had more quarters, so I could dry my stuff just fine. Actually, I had enough quarters for my anonymous friend too — why didn’t they just ask? So I grab their clothes and throw them in an open washing machine with six of my spare quarters. Actually, wait — I can drop another quarter in for a heavy cycle, which entitles you to an additional rinse and spin! I happen to have another quarter, so I do. The heavy cycle takes over an hour and a half to complete.
Now’s a good time to mention a nice feature the washing machines had that the dryers didn’t: they locked while in operation. The homie would have been stuck for about 100 minutes waiting for another chance to dry their clothes. I hope they made better choices the second time.
I was kind of a petty jerk as a baseline, and I look back with a bit of a shock that I didn’t dump in some bleach or turn the water hot. I’m glad I’ve outgrown that kind of thing, but I look back with some pleasure at that little guy standing up to some random inconsiderate person. – nothingdoing
#6 Aquatic backpack
Kid stole my water bottle. I opened it up and left it inside his backpack.- Spartan-44
#7 ‘Till it happens to you
When I was a kid I had a bedwetting problem. I am not ashamed of this now, as thousands of other kids have had the same problems…at the time, however, this was humiliating. My younger brother started telling other kids around school how extensive the issue was. I was mortified.
Even after our mother told him to knock it off, he continued. So I decided to level the playing field. The whole “hand in cup of warm water” deal didn’t work. I stood over him as he slept one night and pissed on him. The next morning, my mom was horrified and wound up taking a call from my grandmother.
“I don’t know what to do, now BOTH of them are pissing the bed,” she explained, clearly frustrated.
After a few more times of “framing” my brother as a bedwetter, he completely stopped using my embarrassing problem as entertainment.- Hardybe
#8 Hustle and BUStle
I was at a subway station a couple of days ago getting back from Uni.
As I got off the subway to line up and go up the escalators, this middle-aged lady nudged me out of the way just as I got on to the steps, and made me trip over and fumble my bag. She stared at me and went on her way. I was right behind her going up, and she probably saved like 0.01 seconds getting on the escalator before me.
As we made our way to the exit and I got up to the door frame, she went out of her way to nudge past me again. She gave me another stare as she went through the exit and stood there looking at me like she couldn’t believe I tried to go first or something.
There’s a bus terminal that connects to the subway on the street level, and we ended up waiting at the same stop. She was the first in line, and I was right behind her. When the bus finally arrived, she really took her time fumbling through her purse, talking on her phone, and looking for her bus card. As she was searching for her card, she ended up dropping it right at the tip of my boot. She was still busy talking on the phone while searching through her wallet. I thought about it for a second and decided to lightly slide her card underneath the bus with my foot.
Eventually, she realized that she might have dropped her card, so she packed her wallet back in her purse, hung up the phone and looked around for her card. As she looked, she began getting increasingly worried, scanning everywhere for where she could have dropped it.
I nudged her out of the way, gave her a stare, and made my way on to the bus. I sat happily on one of the seats. I saw her flustered and panicked, as the next bus was coming in half an hour. T
he bus started to depart, and I opened the window and told her with glee, “Maybe you should check under the bus!”
I watched her for as long as I could until she was out of sight, and enjoyed the rest of my commute home. – iamafrenchfurry
#9 The early bird gets the workload
I work in an office with flexible hours. We can start anytime from 8 am to 9:30 am. I’m always in the office at 8:15 am. Usually, if work comes in urgently in the morning, my supervisor gives it to me to complete since I’m one of the few in the team presently in the office.
Well, yesterday I came into the office at my usual time and one of my colleagues was working on an urgent task given to him at 8 am. He had to pause the task for 20 minutes so my supervisor told me to complete it while he’s away from the office. I couldn’t even have my breakfast or even drink water because of how urgent this task was. I was still working on it when he came back. He asked “how are you going with the task?” and I explained that I’m still working on it and that I found a few mistakes and showed it to him. He puts his hands up in the air and says, “Nope. Not my responsibility anymore” and walks off. Really? I was livid. But this needed to be done and I have no time for drama. I finished work 5:30 pm that day.
Before I left, my supervisor told me that she got a HUGE workload given to her and that she will need to give it to someone urgently in the morning to complete. I knew that my colleague would be in the office at 8 am again.
Guess who is walking in the office at 9:15 am today with a cup of fresh coffee and breakfast? –throwaway47283
#10 Petroleum jelly war
I had a Chief Warrant Officer in Iraq throw a bottle of petroleum jelly at me after I got done ranting about something I’ve long since forgotten. Told me to go “take care of it, and come back when I feel better.” During his afternoon siesta I spent an hour covering everything on his desk with it in the most inconspicuous spots (e.g. inside the handle of a coffee mug, underneath the handle of the Keurig pod loader, behind the canister holding Keurig coffee pods, anywhere he could grab something and not see it without first inspecting it).
He came back and proceeded to curse at a rate never witnessed before as he had to continuously wipe all the jelly off his hands every 3 minutes. He caught the jelly on the inside rims of his over-the-ear headphones before he rimmed his ears with it, but the best came after I let him calm down and get back to work.
Everyone else in the office watched me do it, no one said a thing, but they all had their eyes on me as I waited five minutes before picking up my phone on my desk and slowly dialed the number at his desk. It rings, everyone turns to look at him, he’s on the computer, picks up the phone, slaps it to his ear, “Radio Battalion SIMOSONOFAB*TCH!!!” Turns his head, ear was caked full of petroleum jelly I had dumped all over the ear piece of the phone. Master guns and Major told me these antics and pranks made that deployment. CWO Ryan, if you’re reading this: Sorry, not sorry.-sjmiller85
#11 Salad dressing
In seventh grade I used to take home-made lunch to school. We prepared our own salad dressing (lemon juice, salt, oil, etc), and one kid decided it would be good to steal it, and drink it before lunch time. I asked him not to, but he continued to drink it, but started doing so in one gulp so I couldn’t stop him. So instead of making a huge deal, I prepared two salad dressings. One that I would actually use on my salad, and another that had all the liquid condiments I could find in my mom’s kitchen. It was really fun to see his face as he drank it.
He never stole my salad dressing again. – pipenho
#12 Yearbooks are forever
So flashback to grade 1 and little ol’ me was happy being a little child. Until this girl in my class, let’s call her Mary, uninvited me to her birthday party so she could invite someone else. I was such a sad little nugget after that!
Anyways, for the next 10 years, Mary and I end up going to the same schools since we lived in the same school district. In elementary and middle school she would bully me and anyone not in the “in” crowd, but would get away with it because her dad was a teacher. Needless to say, Mary was not in my good books.
A few years later, it’s grade 9 and I am part of my middle school’s yearbook class, where we got to design and create the yearbook from photos taken at school events. One of the pages that we need to create was a talent show page. Mary happened to participate in the talent show doing a singing performance. I saw an opportunity. I browsed through the photos of Mary singing at the talent show and found the one where her face was the most gloriously contorted and screwed up, as she was singing her high note. I blew that photo way up and placed it in the middle of the page, carefully choosing background colors that wouldn’t take too much attention away from that moment in time where her visage was disheveled and distorted. And that’s how we published the yearbook.
I’m 21 now and almost have an undergrad degree, and I still think back to that glorious moment and pat myself on the back. I bought a copy of that yearbook so I will always have that revenge as a treasured memory. – sav575757
#13 A sticky situation
Years ago I was working for a company where I had an office and the neighboring department was all open plan. We shared coffee facilities so I would often speak to the people in this department over a coffee. There was one idiot called Trevor in that department who would only talk to people on his desk phone on a conference call — every conversation. Needless to say, the rest of the department were annoyed with this loud and obnoxious person screaming on the blower.
As a senior guy, I casually raised this with Trevor. He responded by saying “you can go and get [bleeped]!”
Now, as he was in a different department I had no authority over him and his boss was a moron too so I would have got a similar response. After Trevor went home, I went to his desk and accidentally dropped some glue into the microphone on his phone. The next day it was set rock hard. Of course, the phone rang and he answered it on a conference call, but of course, the person couldn’t hear him. He started screaming into the mic, but they still couldn’t hear him. They would then hang up and try again.
This went on for a couple of calls until he answered the phone in the manner appropriate for the office. – AndyBrown65
#14 What color of crayon do you want?
I’m a server at Denny’s. Today I had a grown woman come in with her two little kids and ask for a booth. I cleaned one and sat her down. She then looks at me points at a booth across the restaurant and says she wants that one instead. Okay, whatever. I move her. I sit her down and seat someone at the booth she was in originally.
Not 2 minutes later she comes up to me and asks for the other booth back because “I was there first and it’s nicer.” Yeah, I know lady: that’s why I sat you there. I tell her I can’t make other customers move and she can keep the one she’s in now or wait until a new one opens. She then says, “No, I want that one. I was there first they have to move.” I told her, ” I’m sorry I can’t do that.” She asks for the manager. I get him and explain the situation. He then tells her exactly what I said. She sits down crosses her arm and pouts like a child.
I proceeded to walk to her table with a huge smile on my face and hand her 3 children’s menus. I looked her dead in the eyes and asked what color crayon she wanted. She goes, “I’m an adult!” I gave her green and walked away.
She walked out, but the satisfaction of not getting in trouble or having to serve her was worth it. –sunnygamez
#15 Listen before you leave a message after the beep
Last year some stupid for-profit education company kept leaving me messages for some person I’d never heard of. My outbound message is literally just, “You’ve reached John Doe, please leave a message.” And they’d start in with, “This message is for Jessie Harrison” or whatever name it was.
I had blocked the number from ringing long ago, but I was starting to get sick of them leaving my voicemails too. I could have unblocked the number, but it seemed like a lot more fun to just change my voicemail message just for them (a pretty handy feature of Google Voice).
I recorded a 3-minute message (the maximum) where I repeated my name many times and implored them to actually freaking listen before they leave a voicemail. They called once more after I set that message… and never again.
I guess they took the hint that I was just going to keep wasting their time or something. –sunnygamez
#16 Take your time
I was at a restaurant for lunch and I got “the urges.” I dash off to the bathroom and it turns out to be tucked away and single stalled. I get in quickly, notice the sign that reads “please lock the door while in the restroom.” Weird. Why wouldn’t anyone lock the door? But anyway, I lock it but the moment I sit down someone starts knocking. I say, “There’s someone in here.” But then the door starts shaking like I’m in a horror movie. I’m literally sitting on the toilet trying to do my business. The knocking and shaking don’t stop. Then whoever is on the other side starts KICKING the door OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER again. Many people have told me stories about getting assaulted and attacked in restrooms, so I’m panicking while sitting on the toilet. Is this just a ploy to get me to open the door? What was I going to do? Open to the door to a violent crazy person?
Then I thought to look at the situation in a funnier light. I’m standing on the side of the locked door. They can’t hurt me. If they break the door, the restaurant will make them pay. I take a few deep breaths (albeit in a nasty bathroom) but I kind of just brush my hair and wash my hands really clean for another five minutes.
The door is being kicked to no end and the knocking doesn’t stop. I get a text from my friend asking if I’m okay. I text my friend to see if she can take a peek at what’s going on. And she tells me it’s JUST A LITTLE GIRL. And it’s the same kid who screamed at her father in the restaurant earlier. I had noticed she was the kid that screamed at her father, “I WANT TO ORDER SOMETHING NOW!” See I would never do this to a child. But I — as a child — also would never kick and scream on a stranger’s door, let alone the public bathroom door when it’s only been less than a minute. It’s infinitely rude.
I finally open the door and I see that she went to the server. And I catch the server saying, “Oh, look you can use it now.” When I get out, I glare at the mom who just looks at me with a deer in the headlights look. – Dependent_Strength
#17 Sucker punch, suspension, repeat
My favorite childhood story.
So I was an AP kid, and had a bunch of AP friends, and also was in sports and theater. I had a large bunch of friends in nearly every clique.
Anyway. One day, one of my friends gets sucker punched in the halls by some jerk. Because of the school’s zero-tolerance policy, getting sucker-punched carries the same punishment as sucker punching. So my friend and the jerk both got in-school suspension, but only one of them was punched on the face. I thought that was a little bit unfair. So I got my friends together, and they got their friends together, and every week, one of us would sucker punch jerk. Every week, one of us would have ISS, and so would jerk, but since we are many, none of us went to ISS twice. Jerk on the other hand missed so much class, that he had to retake the grade. – whoshereforthemoney
#18 A taste of your own medicine
So years ago I delivered jugs of water to homes and offices. My work truck was fairly big probably about 35ish feet long. I had a building I delivered to that had 8-10 stops in it and was one of the few places that had a loading bay for delivery vehicles. This bay was wide enough for 2 large trucks side by side and long enough for my truck to mostly fit with a bit of the cab sticking out in the alleyway (not so far as to block traffic). On the other side of the alley was another building, and the dumpsters for said building. These dumpsters were in a position that it could be a little tight to get into the dock but it was doable.
This day I pull up and see a small courier car (size of a Honda civic) pull into the bay and stop right at the entrance. This position is just enough that I cant get the angle I need to be able to nose up to the dumpsters and back into the open spot in the loading bay. If I tried I’d likely hit the car. Luckily for me, the driver was just getting out of the car. So I politely asked if she could back up a couple of feet so I could get into the dock.
Her: I’m only going to be a few minutes…
Me: Yes but if you take 5 seconds, we can both do what we need to do…
Her: I’ll be a few minutes… Then she just walks into the building. So I’m kinda stunned at this point.
I’ve been in the delivery industry for almost a decade most other drivers get that it’s a tough job and we can all do what we need to do and there’s kinda an unwritten code even amongst competitors. So I maneuver my truck nice and tight to the building so as not to block the alleyway while parking perpendicular to the loading dock entrance and blocking her car in. I start loading the first of 2 or 3 cartloads into the building.
She comes out and sees my truck…
Her: Well isn’t this cute… You need to move…
Me: I’ll only be a few minutes.
Her: I need to go. Move your truck now… B
y this time my cart is loaded and I tell her, “It’s okay, I’ll only be a few minutes.” And I walk into the building. – christhewelder75
#19 When you’re paired with the lazy kid in class for a group presentation
This happened to my SO when he was at university – another comment here reminded me of it. His class were doing presentations in pairs, and he got paired with some girl who didn’t bother to bring notes or research information for their presentation. She instead let him do all the work, and any slides she did were made from his notes and research. He complained to his tutor and she told him “Don’t worry, leave it to me”.
And then the day of the presentation comes. They present, and then at the end the tutor asks the girl a question. If I remember correctly the question was something like “Is there any evidence to suggest that some cultures are more prone to mental health problems?” And the girl answered no. The tutor then asked my SO the exact same question, and because he’d actually read the research on the topic, he was able to list several studies that showed that some cultures are in fact more prone to mental health issues. – Lil-Night
#20 Fall leaves a mark
My mother had really bad asthma and allergies and made us kids rake up the leaves. This was not an easy task. They would get several feet deep if we didn’t do it often enough.
One day, we raked the whole yard into these giant piles for the city to come pick up. This took several hours. The next morning, they were scattered all over. We raked them again over several more hours and it happened again.
Apparently, the neighborhood bully was knocking them over just to be a jerk. The next time, we made a super huge pile around the fire hydrant hoping he’d kick them and hurt his foot. Nope, this time he decided to do a run and jump. I watched it peeking through the blinds. He ended up breaking several bones. I didn’t even feel bad. – kperkins1982
#21 Respect the interns
I had a 6-month school internship at a mobile phone store. The boss was a total a**hole that treated his school-interns like full paid workers (even gave me some concerning money-responsibilities).
A while after the internship he called to tell me I would have to give a statement at court. He had a problem with some customer and a shipment and he planned to tell the court that he explained me everything concerning shipping precisely. Of course, he didn’t; and of course, I didn’t lie in front of the judge. My boss’ attorney gave me a look I will never forget when he realized his stupid plans didn’t work out. Few weeks later my now ex-boss tried to call me again. I didn’t pick up. F*** this guy. – Overbread
#22 One letter off
On every email I send, I attach my name, company, position, etc. ALL the time people will respond “Thank you Sara”….but my name is spelled with the “H”. I have started to reply to them leaving off a letter of their name. “No problem Rene” “Have a good day Jon”. They probably think I am an idiot, but it is worth it to me. – porcelain_queen
#23 Large lunchbox
Someone in my office would always crush lunches with his gigantic a*s lunch box. Either he ate bricks or lead, I don’t know, but I always came to the office fridge and found that my lunch was in pieces.
So, after three bouts of this, and numerous notes from myself and other colleagues, I carefully removed his lunch box, emptied the contents (a gigantic sandwich, a Twinkie, chips, some vegetable pieces, and a few other bits), and ran over them with my car. I carefully packed it back in, and put it back. He kept his lunch in a cooler by his cube from then on. – AR3Leatherworks
#24 The TV is “broken”
My brother-in-law did something to irritate my wife back when they were in high school. My wife turned off the TV, wrote “broken” on a piece of paper taped to the TV, shut off the power strip, and flipped the batteries around in the remote. It took my brother-in-law several days to figure it out. –SteevyT
#25 What kind of terrible restaurant charges for table linen?
I went to a restaurant for brunch. Upon receiving my bill I noticed a $3 charge for table linen. As I was leaving I folded up the tablecloth. The waiter said, “What are you doing?” I said, “I paid for it, I’m taking it home.” And I did. –Pierced7
#26 She’s missing a slipper. Too bad she ain’t Cinderella
We were sitting by a pool once, and a woman stood over my wife and started spraying sunscreen all over herself – and my wife. We asked her nicely to please move and she ignored us and kept spraying. When we left, I took one of her flip flops with me. – Whereyouatdesmondo
#27 Hospital, not hotel
As a nurse, we had this god awful patient, who made all our lives hell. Needed pain meds on the dot, needed to smoke every half hour, sat on the call light all damn day. This person was possibly the rudest human being I’ve ever met. Treated us like slaves, and was drug seeking. It finally came time for discharge, and this patient decided to come up with a whole bunch of new medical problems. ” I have chest pain! I have nausea! One side of my body feels numb!” So, being the very skilled and rational nurse I am, I asked the doctor for a whole new set of orders.
First, I asked for lab draws every 3 hrs (meaning needles every three hours) to check cardiac markers. Then I asked that the pt be placed on NPO status (nothing by mouth) for the nausea. This person couldn’t go an hour without eating something. For the numbness, I requested the pt be placed on strict bed rest for 24 hrs, and then have a physical therapy eval ordered (which meant no more going downstairs to smoke). I explained this all to the patient, and he says ” Sh*t! I just wanted to stay another night. I ain’t doing any of that! I feel fine, just give me my damn papers!” Talked it over with the doctor on call, he gave me the all-clear to discharge, and I had him out the door in an hour. – Andybent25
#28 Potato hunt
I know a girl that broke up with her idiot boyfriend and moved out. But before she left she hid potatoes all over his house where he couldn’t find them, so that when they rot months and months later he will never get rid of the smell. – Pierced7
#29 Chicken bouillon-scented lawn
My neighbor flipped out on me because my dog was sniffing her lawn and yelled, “Get your dog off my lawn! Don’t let him poop on my lawn!” It really got to me so I ordered 500 boxes from USPS to her house every two weeks for a few months (you can order up to 500 of any size for free). I also mixed five bouillon cubes for chicken broth (usually you use like two or three for a large pot of soup) into a water bottle with a hole in the cap and I’d just spray it all over the last foot or so of her lawn the whole length every day for a few weeks so that every dog, cat, and stray/wild animal would go sniff her lawn every time they passed by it.-Chardlz
#30 Trading dog poop
My girl told me that the neighbor across the street was instructing his dog to go poop on our lawn. At first, I doubted he was telling his dog to do that, but I was home sick for a few days and saw it myself. I asked the owner to stop it and he said the dog wouldn’t listen. When I asked him to at least clean up the poop, he said his dog was only peeing.
We had our own dog and I took a week’s worth of his land mines plus the neighbor’s dog’s poops for the week and walked across the street and threw them all over his front yard and walkway one night. Somehow the neighbor’s dog listened after that and never pooped in my yard again. –mysteryslice
#31 EGGcellent aim!
When I was about 14, I was walking down a road with my friend. Some older teenagers in a car pulled up next to us, threw an egg right at me, and then sped off. Somehow, the egg hit me in the shoulder and then landed on the ground without exploding. It was still intact. The kids did a U-turn and came around to inspect the damage. My friend picked up the egg and threw it right back at their car. Their window was down, and my friend hit them right at the base of the driver’s side window, creating a perfect airburst. The egg exploded everywhere. – SenorBeef
#32 Good neighbors share music with each other
My neighbor watches TV at night loudly. I’ve asked nicely for him to lower it (I’m a nursing student, so I need what little sleep I get). Long story short, he wouldn’t lower it, and my apartment complex says it’s not loud enough to be considered a disturbance.
I now play heavy metal music during the day and put the speaker right by the neighbor’s wall, so he’s not able to sleep during the day.
The music is a disturbance, but it’s not loud enough for the complex to consider it a disturbance, so they can’t do anything about it. – flecka22
#33 South of the border of human decency
I was working at a call center. My coworker, who has a very rich southern accent, gets a call in. The woman on the other line detects her accent and gives her a hard time. She then requests someone “intelligent” with “better English”. My coworker tells the woman her English is fine and she can assist her. The lady says something to the effect of, “Just transfer me to someone else, tramp.” My coworker then sends her to the SPANISH line. I just about died from the laughter. – 9aminATL
#34 A dash of sriracha makes revenge even sweeter
Someone kept stealing snacks from my little sister’s lunch that was in her locker in elementary school. They even left the wrappers there. My sister had a suspect in mind but her teacher did not want to act on it. So we decided to prepare some Lindt chocolates: We scooped the middle part and put some Sriracha in them. The next day, the kid did indeed fall into our trap and came back from her ”bathroom trip” with a red face and tearing eyes. She stopped stealing from my sister’s locker after that. – Yakiho
#35 Double purpose towel
My roommate in college used to get out of the shower dripping wet and leave water all over the bathroom floor. I asked him several times to dry himself off in the shower but he refused. Rather than get angry about it, I just started drying off the bathroom floor every morning with his bath towel. – natbar2000