As a young person, our parents decide what we can handle and cannot. During our transition from adolescence to adulthood, our parents would like us to be prepared for whatever life may bring. Here’s a list of 30 secrets revealed to some Redditors upon reaching adulthood.
#1 Having a Sibling
That I had a much older half-sister. Apparently, my father had got some girl knocked up in high school, her parents didn’t like him and thought they were too young to raise a kid, so they just packed up and moved. He knew she existed, but never tried to locate her and just moved on with his life. After I was in college, the sister had contacted him and they got together. Well nobody bothered to mention this fact to me until I come home from college for Thanksgiving and this strange woman is sitting at the table and my dad says, “Meet your sister.” —Dervrak
#2 What to do After Death
Not yet, but when I was in college and my parents got divorced, my dad gave me all the information on what to do if he passes. Told me where things are, and had me go to his bank to sign a document for access to his account after he dies. When we were leaving the bank, he told me, “your mother is not who you think she is. Everything you need to know is in my deposit box.”
I have no clue what he could be talking about—he never elaborated, and my mom laughed it off when I told her about it.
Guess I’ll find out one day. —root-bound
#3 Where our Pet Went
When I was a kid, my dad accidentally killed a raccoon with his car. It had a young one with it that wasn’t hit, so we adopted the baby raccoon.
We adored it, but we were not at all equipped to care for it. There was no lock or cage that could stop this thing. It was very clever, strong, and curious. It got into cupboards and ate food and trash, and we’d find its s**t in the most random places.
One day my dad sat me down and told me that my raccoon had “gone to live on a farm.” I was old enough to know what that meant, and I was heartbroken.
Just a few years ago I was telling this story to my husband and my dad interrupted me and said that he literally, actually gave my raccoon away to a work acquaintance of his that had a farm and a lot of wooded property. It had become so accustomed to humans it constantly broke into the man’s house and ate his food, and got enormously fat, and lived a long ornery raccoon life. —scurvy_knave
#4 You were a Princess-to-be
There was a story growing up about how a local prince wanted to marry me and offered things like cows for my hand in marriage.
When my father passed away I went to my home country and met cousins I had not met before.
Turned out the prince was the president’s son and it wasn’t an offer, it was a demand. We snuck out of the country because he was going to make me his wife – bear in mind, I was a toddler.
My mom filled in the back story. The company my dad worked for had to smuggle us out of the country. My life was so exciting when I was 6. —full-of-grace
#5 They Gave Your Money Away
My college fund was given to my aunt because she was “going through a hard time” and would “definitely pay it back”. It’s been twenty years… I guess we just gave her thousands of dollars. Ya know… for funsies. —Tlali22
#6 A Collection of the Things You Loved as a Kid
That secret was revealed to me not when I reached adulthood but when my father passed away. When I was a baby, I had a baby doll which I loved. I still have that doll now that I am 28 y.o. One day, a month about after my father’s death, my mother told me that he had bought me 3 same baby dolls and when the one I was using had gotten damaged, he secretly replaced her with a new one. He kept that secret as a present for the day of my wedding, along with all the baby dolls I had used all those years. He didn’t make it to reveal it to me himself. —Nsymeo
#7 An Inheritance
My great-uncle (dad’s uncle) left me a large sum of money in trust that I was to receive at either age 25, graduated from college, or was honorably discharged from military service (he retired from the military), whichever came first. I had no idea and I’m glad I didn’t. I joined the military right out of high school and when I had my DD-214 in hand, my parents took me to a lawyer who laid it all out. Wow. Because of the enhanced GI Bill, I didn’t have to touch a cent of it for tuition. I did use it to buy a house though.
I miss my great-uncle as much for his wisdom as his company. —PinocchioWasFramed
#8 A Secret Business
My grandma owned a bar when we were growing up but also ran a huge bookie/betting service from the bar. I didn’t know until she passed away. It all made sense, the random police showing up, the robberies. —moos3kc
#9 A Parent’s Bad Childhood
I am 43 and recently found out that my grandfather, who had passed away before I was born, was in prison when he was 16 for killing his father. There were reports of child and spouse abuse and alcoholism. My family looks at it as he was protecting his siblings. When he got out of prison he met my grandmother and they had 11 children that be protected until his death! —Mimi_Jess
#10 A Charitable Cause
My grandfather was a small business owner who everyone always thought of as extremely frugal due to growing up poor. Later we found out he spent a significant amount of money on charitable causes and helped a lot of his employees with financial and in one case legal trouble. Positive secret, but it was definitely a secret.
#11 A Sham Marriage
When I was in my 20’s my mom revealed that my uncle (who was an ordained minister and my dad’s older brother) helped arrange for my dad to get a sham marriage with another woman so he could get his green card prior to his relationship with my mom. It was a mildly mind-blowing revelation for me at the time.
I’ve never bothered to do the math on the timeline of my past, but it belatedly occurred to me that I might technically be the offspring of an extramarital affair. My mother did meet my father towards the tail end of his fake marriage after all. Hmmm —Prank_Owl
#12 Death of a Friend
When I was a kid, I used to be friends with the next-door woman, who was about 20 years old. To me, she was a best friend because she would read to me, or play with me or take me on walks. One morning I woke up and her dad was at my house and gave me a painting she made, then my parents told me my friend had to move to another city for work and she left me the painting to remember her. Sometime later we moved to another city but returned years after when my dad died. I found the dad and sister were living there still. There I knew the truth, my friend had died in a car accident back then, but they decided to lie to me because they didn’t want to hurt me. —Vehicle_Efficient
#13 A Half-brother Who Sent Your Dad to Jail
That I had a half-brother that was adopted soon after his birth. I met him when I was 13. My mom kind of had to tell me as he had become a policeman and was at our house to arrest my dad. He didn’t keep in touch, I don’t blame him —Mynameis_F
#14 A Parent’s Failed Marriage
That my father was married before he met my mother and had a daughter.
I do not and may never know the full story. My mother knows parts of it, but won’t tell me much and just refers me to my father when I ask more about it. My father gets d**n hysterical about it, I just don’t know how much is true or embellished.
Basically, my father moved away from his dysfunctional poor family in Florida to Texas where he had a job lined up. He was out on his own and finally making money, thought not much.
I don’t know how he met this woman, but they did get together and got married within a short time. She was quick to move in and share everything with him.
She got pregnant and my presumed sister was born. My father loved her. In fact, I recently I found pictures of the two of them together, and he was definitely happy.
Then “something” happened. From his rantings, she took almost everything he earned, ran up a lot of credit, etc. When he called attention to it, her family started threatening him. To quote him, “they were the type of people, who would show up to your work causing trouble, and destroy your car as they left, just because they didn’t like you.”
Now, by this time his daughter was almost three years old, and besides these supposed events, they had been living happily the entire time.
Surprisingly, it was the woman who started the divorce. Her family had money, and my father- who was alone -did not, and they went hard on him in false accusations. My father was still fighting though, but when it looked like he might “win”, they claimed that his daughter was not his and how the woman had always been sleeping with some other man. It was apparently convincing enough, that my father believes that to be true to this day. I don’t think there was ever a paternity test, but he apparently signed away any claim to be her father. . . and he wasn’t ordered to pay any child support.
According to my mother, his supposed daughter would show up at our house/apartment alone occasionally, trying to talk with my father. . . even once on my 9th birthday- though I don’t remember her. However, that strikes me as a little odd, as she couldn’t be more than 12 years old at the time. . .someone would’ve had to known where we lived and driven her there.
The first time I heard about any of this was when I was 24 years old and had just gone with my father to have our wills and other important documents updated. That is when he told me that if he died, “someone” may come claiming to be his daughter, but that it wasn’t true and instructed me on how to properly defend his estate from such an event. He wouldn’t give me any details though, and I just dropped it.
Then, about a year ago, the supposed daughter found and contacted me on Facebook. . .I didn’t respond at first, because I thought it was some junk friend request, but they also contacted my mother, who verified that it was who they said they were. So, yeah, I had a short conversation with her through Messenger. She sounded honest enough, but I was cautious/skeptical.
That is when I brought it up to my father, who got hysterical and told me the rest of what I’ve relayed here.
We are still friends on Facebook, but we kind of have an understanding that we may or may not be brother and sister. The only way we would know for sure is to have a sibling paternity test, which could let us know within a reasonable probability, but not for certain, unless my father participated too. And we pretty much decided that we couldn’t put him through that as he seems to be very traumatized by whatever happened back then.
She is a mother and has a caring family now though. Supposedly, her mother remarried, then something happened to her mother and is no longer in her life. Her step-father took her in, and she hasn’t had any contact with her biological family. I suppose that is part of the reason why she wanted to get to know my father, he is the only one she knows that could be her biological father. —xAdakis
#15 A Parent Cheating
When I was 18 my mom told me how my dad cheated on her with this woman named Kathy. I actually remembered Kathy when I was a kid because my dad would take my brother and me to her house. She would buy us computer games and stuff so we loved her at the time. I never understood why my mom hated her until I was older.
Kathy ended up marrying my dad’s best friend. As an adult, I was never nice to her and my dad would give me s**t about it. I finally told him that I knew about her and that mom had told me everything. He just said, “Oh, alright then.” He never gave me s**t again. —Jessibeeb
#16 A Life Full of Drama
My mom met my dad in the military. I learned she joined the military to escape her town. Her best friend had killed himself and she dropped out of school. She started hanging out with his dad a lot and he convinced her to go back to high school and graduate. They became really close and his wife learned about it. At her graduation, the wife finally met my mom and told her she was going to kill her for “messing around” with her husband. So my mom joined the military and didn’t tell anyone until a couple of years later after she had met my dad and had me. I learned all this when I was like 25. I don’t even know if my dad knew the whole story as they had never brought it up. —punk0r1f1c
#17 The Real Reason Behind a Parent’s Death
When I was 7, my dad died while we were staying at his place (in a different country). We were supposed to stay 2 weeks, but I recall not staying over a week. He died at his office while we were at his place.
Other people from my family came to get us late at night, and after a day or two, we flew back home. But my brother (8) and I didn’t know anything that has happened and we didn’t know why we were taken away from my dad. Once we arrived home, my mom and a lady from the school sat us down at the kitchen table, and announced that our father died.
My mom has told us that he died due to some medical reasons or whatever, but it’s only years later (when I was 21 or 22), that a step-brother (son of my father) that I’ve only seen as a kid and then suddenly came back briefly in my life, told me that my dad actually died from gunshots while he was at work in his office.
So my mom didn’t actually tell me herself, and when I told her that I knew, she was upset at my stepbrother for telling me the truth about my father’s death. —vymysela
#18 The Truth About Their Marriage
My parents got divorced a few years before I was born, got back together but never remarried. They had no plans to ever tell us (my younger sister and I), but it came out when I was looking at my citizenship options. It’s likely we never would have found out otherwise. —AntiAuthorityFerret
#19 A Twin Sister
Not an adult, but my mom died giving birth to me, but I just found out a few months ago that I had a twin sister that died during childbirth too. She wasn’t really strong enough to survive. I think I stole all the good stuff inside. It would be cool having a mom and a twin sister but the world had different plans i guess. —pURPleDorito4108
#20 Why They Hate Your Grandmother
My mom’s grandparents divorced not long before I was born, then two years later my grandfather remarried. My biological grandmother died when I was young, so growing my Grandfather’s new wife was basically my grandmother. We’ll call her Patty.
Patty is weird – she means well, but tends to put her foot in her mouth and ask people weirdly personal questions (about their sex lives especially). Still, she’s family so whatever.
Except, growing up, my Mom and her two siblings hated Patty. When I was younger it was kind of minor, just occasional snide comments behind her back, but as I got older it became increasingly clear that they couldn’t stand the woman. It was always so odd to me – yeah she was a goof, but whatever, lots of people in our family had quirks.
Then, when I was in my 20s, my grandfather died. As I was sitting down with my Mom, going over some old photos of my grandad, there was a picture of Patty that my Mom immediately made a rude comment about. I finally asked, “why do you guys hate her so much?”
My mom looked at me, confused, then realization appeared on her face. “Oh, we never told you did we?”
Turns out the reason my biological grandparents got divorced was that my Grandfather had been cheating on my Grandmother with Patty, going back more than a decade before the divorce. They didn’t hate her because she was weird, they hated her because she was a homewrecker.
It seemed kind of unfair to me that they directed all their hate at Patty since my grandfather was just as, if not more, guilty, but I guess that’s what people do. The funeral I think actually kind of gave my Mom and her siblings a chance to put those bad feelings to rest, because after it they all started being a lot nicer and more civil towards Patty. —Notmiefault
#21 Why You are an Only Child
We are from a more traditional culture where people tend to have a large number of kids. Having 4-5 kids is not common but no one will bat an eyelash. I have multiple relatives with 5 kids. Myself, I’m an only child.
I would often ask my parents about siblings but, while they are usually very engaging, they’d essentially tell me to put a cork in it. It was weird.
I found out fairly recently that, when we came to America, my mom got pregnant. It was later in life so she would have been her late 30s/early 40s. Apparently, the pregnancy went quite far but she lost the baby. It made a bunch of stuff click – how their fighting ramped up significantly around that time, how my dad went back to our home country for a while, etc.
I think there’s more to it but they refuse to talk about it. —MrFunktasticc
#22 Their Doubts
Several years ago my dad dropped the truth bomb that he didn’t think I was his kid when I was born. My mum had an affair and he thought I was an illicit lovechild.
As soon as I started growing, he could see a lot of himself in my features so eventually brushed it off. But like… gee thanks, dad. Not sure I needed to know that. —CrochetNerd_
#23 That Your Father Went Missing
My aunty casually brought up one Christmas after my dad had died that he went missing for TWO YEARS when he was twenty and nobody ever knew where he went! He just reappeared one day “looking like Jesus” and never explained where he went or what happened and then continued on living his life and literally no one ever mentioned it again so I never got to ask him about it. So wild. —sillyroskilly
#24 DNA Results
My sister decided to take a DNA test to get some insight into her ancestry. She got her results back and had zero percent Italian, while our dad is 100% Italian. She didn’t confront them right away and instead decided to wait until I took the test and get my results. Four weeks later I got my results back and sure enough, I also had zero percent Italian, and it actually identified my biological father, who isn’t my dad. They revealed the secret when my sister intentionally let it slip that she was and I was waiting for our DNA results. I’m 38 and it never once came up. It wasn’t even really for a bad reason, they had fertility issues and went to a sperm bank. I’m honestly not sure they ever would have said anything —3rd_eye
#25 A Terrible Childhood
My adopted brother was actually my cousin. We knew my aunt died in a car crash, but they left out that my uncle was shot/murdered with his son in the room. He was 3 years old at the time, and alone with the body until the next morning. My brother was a pretty troubled kid, and it made a lot of sense when we found out what he had gone through and how he had received basically zero counseling after. —fourteenbananas
#26 Heartbreaking Confession
My Mom and Dad were in high school when they had me. They were broken up and on bad terms before I was even born. Dad moved to California for the Marines and school. I stayed in the South with my mom, but my grandmother (dad’s mom) stepped into the void my dad left and helped my mom raise me.
Classic estranged father. I’d maybe see him for a few days every year or two, but by the time I was close to becoming a teenager, there’d be years between visits. When I was younger, I always had him on a pedestal even though I hardly ever saw him or spoke to him. BUT I could always count on hearing from him when a new console came out. I’ve been a huge gamer my entire life, so my dad would ALWAYS buy and send whatever the newest console/gaming innovation was at the time. It’s always been our thing, starting with a Gameboy Color and Pokemon Gold all the way to the PS4 Pro. Even over the last few months, he had been talking about getting me the new Xbox whatever it is.
My grandmother passed away last month, so I’ve had to see and speak with him a lot more than usual. He told me he had been having trouble finding an Xbox but assured me that it would happen once everything settled down. I was talking with my Mom afterward and mentioned the conversation in passing. Found out that my grandmother was buying everything for me and my dad was just taking the credit. —CardiganJones
#27 The Best Grandfather
Not me but my Grandpa. During the Vietnam war, my Grandma had a baby with an American Soldier when she was sixteen. Not knowing this, my Grandpa still raised my half aunt. My Grandpa fought as well. He battled alcoholism, PTSD, The Viet Cong, and fled a country he swore to protect.
After my family moved to Iowa, my Grandma finally told the truth about my half-aunt. My Grandpa just stood up, went to the fridge for a beer, and told my Grandma “I still raised her”. I never doubted my Grandpa’s love for his family after my other aunt told me this. —No_Speed7841
#28 There’s No College Fund
My dad used to take all of my Christmas and birthday money—my brother’s too—for our ‘college fund.’
We didn’t have access to the account till we turned 18. The day before my older brother’s birthday, old man drains the account and buys a new car… for himself. Told us that was always the plan and that if we wanted to go pay for school we’d better go get jobs.
Please never do this to your kids. It will probably contribute to trust issues, esp financially. But I wouldn’t know. I can’t afford therapy lol —OwMyCandle
#29 Blurted
My mom regularly says things without thinking and will reveal truths she forgot she told me otherwise about.
When I was a kid her boss would babysit me at her work so she didn’t have to get daycare. He would always put on the Horton Hears A Who VHS and let me look through his rock collection. He was great and we thought of him as family. So when he passed from illness after we moved I was very bummed.
Years following, I was at my mom’s house, and something reminded me of him. I mentioned him to my mom and she says:
“Oh yeah, it’s was so crazy that he killed himself”
“Uh, you mean he was sick right?”
“No he hung himself, you knew that”
NOPE SURE DIDN’T MOM. Was very sad that someone who brought so much joy to our lives was going through such a struggle and I never knew. —Simple_Commercial941
#30 You are not Your Partner’s Whole World
A few years after my dad died (2001) my mum told me that he had given her an ultimatum back in 1993, a year after his first heart attack.
She did absolutely everything for him, tea on the table when he got home, all the laundry & ironing his shirts as well as running a shop (that he wanted) full time & all alone. By this time they had been married for 32 years, he had many things he did without her/us, he played football, cricket, golf, etc, she didn’t have anything. When he got home from work he was in control of the main tv, she would watch a black & white portable in the kitchen if she wanted to watch something else.
In 1993 I started college, I’m the youngest & there were only 2 of us still at home. So mum found she had some time on her hands, she started visiting a friend’s house & they would just sit & chat whilst knitting. She would walk down there & more often than not her friend’s son in law would drive her home. Now before she left home she would make sure dad still had his tea or if he wasn’t home she would make it & leave it for him.
This ultimatum he gave was to stop visiting her friend or get a divorce!
I was devastated when she told me, I explained that if we had known we would have all been in her corner & even encouraged her to go with the divorce & if anything she should have divorced him!
As much as I miss the man I still want to give him a slap for being so f**king stupid & petty. —henrycharleschester