#9 Dating, pregnancy, marriage, chaos, divorce, freedom
We knew each other for almost three years before we started dating, and she got pregnant right away. We got married seven months after our first date.
Things were wonderful, really great until the baby arrived. She turned into another person. She only confessed years later that she had fairly severe post-partum depression, but she didn’t seem depressed to me. She was mean. Physically violent, hyper and obsessive about everything, and had an “I’m right, you’re a worthless use of space” about everything.
I tried to double down on helping her, and we had a total of three nannies (one during the day, one evening, one for weekends) so that we could connect as a couple, and she wasn’t stressed out about everything. But that didn’t help. So I took her and the baby to Switzerland, France, Italy (twice), Spain (twice), Mexico and Puerto Rico, Hawaii, and England. She had never been out of the country before she met me. But that made things worse.
We went to one couple’s therapist, and then another, and to individual therapists, and she claimed they were either all stupid, didn’t understand her culture or religion, or that they had said she was perfect and was “cured”. So that didn’t go anywhere after two years.
One trip to a far away city, she kept telling me how disgustingly fat I was, and how I should shoot myself, and how I was a worthless piece of crap, etc., and as we were waiting for a subway, I seriously thought about throwing myself in front of it. I had just won an award in my profession earlier that day at a prestigious university.
A few days after that, I saw an attorney and filed for divorce. The divorce lasted longer than the marriage, but after nearly five years and going to trial twice, I was finally free.