#26 What’s The Ending
I was in a dud of a marriage. I married too young and against my better judgment. My husband was a controlling and sexually repressed man who did not respect me and I did not respect him.
I found out that my husband was on dating sites and talking to women online attempting to solicit dates. He was actively seeking to cheat and the only thing stopping him from taking it to a physical realm was the fact that none of the women were interested in him.
We worked on our marriage over the years to try to resolve his online cheating, but he’d always start up again. Eventually, I got so emotionally worn out by it that I just didn’t have it in me to care much anymore.
I met a man at work who I was instantly attracted to on a mental and a physical level–something I’d never had with my husband. We started out with harmless conversations and became work friends. We then found excuses to text each other when not at work. We’d grab lunch together here and there…at first with groups and then with just the two of us. I couldn’t wait to go to work every day and see him. I thought about him all the time. I knew I was heading towards dangerous ground but I didn’t want to stop.
We started flirting and I began to sneak away from home to meet up with him for hikes, dinner, you name it. I met up with him for hours at a time on evenings and weekends, and my husband never really noticed because his attention was always occupied with his friends or his online chats with women.
My friend from work and I were always careful not to make physical contact, until one day in his car when he leaned over to help me with my jammed seat belt and he kissed me. It was the most amazing thing I’d ever felt in my life.
Over the next few weeks meeting up to have dinner turned into meeting up to find a secluded spot and make out in his car. Then that eventually turned into groping, touching,…you get the idea. I could not get enough of this guy.
I felt tremendously guilty the entire time because I never thought of myself as the type who would cheat. I came clean with my husband before my affair progressed any deeper. I broke off the affair and agreed to try marriage counseling. I quickly changed my mind when during the course of an argument (I didn’t want to go to his church and he wanted me to) my husband slapped me and told me I wasn’t allowed to have any unsupervised visits with my family or friends anymore.
After I told my husband I wanted a divorce, he attempted to destroy my life. He tried to get me fired, told all the neighbors and everyone at his church what happened, posted our business on Facebook tagging my friends and family, you name it. He also threatened to “beat up” the guy I had been cheating with which, honestly, would have only ended up in severe embarrassment and injury for himself.
It didn’t take long after filing divorce papers for me to hook back up with my friend and officially start dating him. My husband harassed and threatened us both until my boyfriend called his bluff and then he just sort of faded out.
My boyfriend is now my husband and we have been together for 10 years and going strong. I love him more than anything and I respect him more than anyone I’ve ever met. I would never dream of cheating on him and I feel confident that he’d never cheat on me. —The_Two_Trees