#6 Pee Tape and Robert Mueller III Prayer Candles
We’ve all reacted differently to the first year of Donald Trump’s presidency. Some of us set aside a few moments every day to scream violently into a pillow, others design and attempt to seek funding for a range of prayer candles emblazoned with the face of a former FBI director and a VHS tape with the phrase “pee tape” written underneath. Everyone’s different, OK? In any case, you’ll be glad to know that these candles are unscented. Also, does Mueller & Peetape sound like a zany cop duo, or is that just me?
#7 The Buttress: World’s Most Bootyful Pillow
Some of these products need very little explanation. Buttress is one such product. It’s a pillow, shaped like a butt. There’s not a great deal more too it than that, but then again, does there need to be? Aren’t the simplest of ideas the best? Besides, anything which can offer the comfort of laying on an actual butt without the risk of a mouthful o’ farts deserves all the success in the world. These, of course, hit their funding target, so you can grab a butt soon.
#8 Phyre Pix – Vacuum Infused Cinnamon Flavored Toothpicks
What do you get the man who has everything? Why, a pack of vacuum-sealed Phyre Pix cinnamon-infused toothpicks, of course. These toothpicks are soaked in Ceylon cinnamon oil until they’re hot enough to turn your saliva into steam, then they are vacuum sealed. Is there anything more needlessly, frivolously awesome than that? If there is, I’m yet to find it. Phyre Pix haven’t fully met their funding target yet, but filling such a massive void in the market as they are, will surely guarantee them success.
#9 Potato Salad
Ah, a real classic of the genre. Potato Salad Kickstarter began with a humble, rather self-explanatory goal; to make some potato salad. Its creator had, apparently, never made potato salad before and wanted to. Obviously, the most straightforward way to go about this was to create a campaign on a crowdfunding site, requesting $10. The internet, as it is wont to do, responded in ridiculous fashion. The Kickstarter amassed over $50k in funding, which is totally funny until you spend an hour looking through old Kickstarter campaigns for community centers and libraries and shit which didn’t even raise $100.
#10 The NoPhone
Pitched as a “technology free alternative to constant phone-to-hand contact” the NoPhone is, in case that’s not clear, not a phone. Get it? It’s not a phone. It has more-or-less the exact same dimensions as a phone and to a passerby, no doubt looks just like a phone, so the only people who will know how hilarious you are is you and your friends, so just you, you try-hard irony bro. Definitely recommended as a passive-aggressive gift to a partner who spends too much time on their phone.